four-thirty-three

Ah, the 80s.  Our hair was big, our guitar solos were shredding (and usually played by people with big hair), and our drug war was shiny and new.  D.A.R.E. was the hip approach to schoolin’ the kids about the reefer madness; my school participated in it during the program’s inaugural year.  Unfortunately, studies have since come out that kids who participate in D.A.R.E. are more likely to use drugs.  Whoops.

(I’ll note here that the only drugs I do are legal, like caffeine.)

Tom Ammiano, a California state assemblyman, has just introduced a bill in the state legislature to legalize and tax pot.  Not sure how this is gonna go, as we can’t even get a budget passed in less than 47 months, but it’ll be interesting to see how this plays out.

In honor of Ammiano’s bill, here’s some primo, high grade stuff… in the form of 1980s anti-drug commercials.

1. The amazing “parents who have drugs have children who use drugs” ad. If my dad interrupted me all the fucking time like this clown, I might have used drugs too.

2. Pee Wee Herman telling us all that crack is bad. I loved Pee Wee’s Playhouse when I was a kid, but I have a feeling that Mr. Herman might not be the most reliable anti-drug crusader.

3. The granddaddy of them all: the “This is your brain on drugs” PSA.

I’d respond to their request for questions, but Bill Hicks did it much more eloquently than I could.

Now, where’s my commercial? Why don’t I get a commercial? Why is it always that other guy that gets the commercial? ” I knew we were in trouble with that damn egg commercial, that guy. I knew that was the government’s take on drugs, we’re fucked, you know. “Here’s your brain.” I’ve seen a lot of weird shit on drugs, I have never, ever, ever, ever, EVER looked at an egg… and thought it was a fucking brain. Not once, all right? I have seen UFOs split the sky like a sheet, but I have never ever ever looked at an egg and thought it was a fucking brain, not once. I have had seven balls of light come off of a UFO, lead me onto their ship, explain to me telepathically that we are all one and there is no such thing as death… but I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever looked at an egg, and thought it was a fucking brain. Now. Maybe I wasn’t getting good shit. I admit it, I see that commercial, I feel cheated. Hey, where’s the stuff that makes eggs look like brains? That sounds neat. Did I quit too soon?

This entry was posted Monday, February 23rd, 2009 at 6:56 pm and is filed under culture war, links, philosophy, video. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.